Pool Cleaner | Bronco Buster | Efficiency Expert

Pool Cleaner

Description

  • Responsible for cleaning and maintenance of company's Olympic-class aquatic center, with pools, diving platforms, jacuzzis and little, yellow rubber duckies.
  • Also responsible for organizing events, such as water polo tournaments and company's annual 300-person game of Marco Polo.

Requirements

  • Must be able to maintain a great tan, distribute SPF 30 sunscreen, critique diving form and compare/contrast different models of mana-based resource systems for real-time strategy games.

Bronco Buster

Description

  • Just like it sounds, pardner.

Requirements

  • Experience with ridin', ropin' and rasslin' steers and bucking broncos.
  • Bonus points if you can sing Gene Autry classics, or anything by Roy Rogers and the Sons of the Pioneers.

Efficiency Expert

Description

  • Looking for an energetic, motivated self-starter to effectively manage a community of knowledge workers in a proactive, action-plan oriented environment that seamlessly integrates the company vision and strategies to locate and identify possible synergies and initiatives in a scalable paradigm of mission-critical tasking and empowerment of core competencies for better actualization of client-focused, smartsized, customer-directed, multidisciplinary conceptualizations, while focusing on team dynamics, reachable goals, low-hanging fruit and measurable, backward-compatible metrics.

Requirements

  • Minimum two-years experience in a buzzword-laden environment.